Money Makes the Stomach Ache

 It's Mother's Day. I'm doing my Sunday meal prep and popping into my bedroom to do this and look at my budget and be a little obsessive.

This week's main meal will be a pasta dish. Bowtie pasta with alfredo sauce, shredded chicken, peas, carrots, onions and cheese. Then I have home made chicken broth (smells divine) for ramen. I have coconut cake for desserts and later I'll make a couple of omelets also.

Meal prep is the bomb. Taking the dread of worrying about what to have for dinner: And always making enough to freeze some so there's choices in the freezer too. I've never felt food insecurity but I often lack the ability to take care of myself so this just puts me so far ahead of the game.

So I'm having money anxiety really bad right now. I think I'm so used to having that financial terror that it's almost like a default setting. Especially because right now I'm fine. I have enough in checking until next payday, I have enough in my wallet to get a fast food meal if I want one and my savings is almost $700 in 2 months. That's good.

I need to vacuum and mop and my weekend has been very productive.

Sidenote: I was thinking about spending issues that both Mitch and I have and thought that we grew up with parent's who emotionally gave trauma but physically gave. So we replaced love and security with stuff. And even though we both get love from proper sources now: it's ingrained that stuff gives us a feeling a love.

I also realized that I don't need to buy every shiny, sparkly thing that catches my eye but investing in better quality furniture and cookware and all, it isn't wasting money. It's okay to want an adult bed. It's okay to want a space ship shaped potato masher. But maybe it's not as okay to buy the masher but definitely okay to buy the bed.